I still can't believe this...

last night, for no particular reason, I started thinking about a guy I had a brief crush on a few years ago. 

He came to my mind and I realized that I hadn't seen or spoken to him in a long time. 

I therefore decided to look him up on the internet, to see what he was up to.

Well, it didn't take me long to find out what he is up to now: he is dead.

I got to know this through a video some friends of his put on YouTube. It's all about him and it's full of comments like " we'll never forget you" and stuff like that. 

I was completely shocked...I still don't believe it now. 

It was never a big thing between me and him. But it just seems absurd that he don't exist anymore now and that I found out so randomly. 

I mean, I can't stop thinking that, if I hadn't thought about him last night, I would still believe he is alive now. 

It's too strange...I'm not even particularly sad or depressed about it...but I just find myself thinking about it and being surprised every time I do.