My energies have degenerated in a kind of restless laziness; I can't do nothing, but I can't even do something! I feel my imagination has gone, I can't feel anything towards nature, and the idea of reading makes me sick. I swear that sometimes I wish I were an office worker, just to hve, each morning, a schedule I can't get away from. Sometimes I envy friends of mine who seem to be so involved in practical things, and I wish I could be in their shoes. Maybe I should find myself a job?
Sometimes that seems a good idea. But then, I know I would very probably hate it. Really, I'm no sure what to do!
But, yeah, people have told me that this perennial longing for change and a painful restlessness I have will follow me for the rest of my life. And I kinda believe them.
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