last night I was in a playground with friends...we were all pretty drunk and there was this swing...I got on it and one of my friends started pushing. And I just jumped off, but it was really high an I hadn't realized it. So I just fell flat on the ground. I smashed my face and shoulder.
ahah, I'm seriously stupid.
Now I'm fine, but my right arm and shoulder is not. I cannot move it...
written by my love Arthur Rimbaud at 15...it's not even the best translation....
On a blue summer evening I shall go down the path And, brushed by wheat, walk on the fine grass. Dreaming along, I’ll feel the coolness under my feet And bathe my bare head in the poetic wind. I won’t speak, I will not even think, But infinite love will geyser up in my soul, And I’ll go far, far away, like a Gypsy Into the wilds — as happy as if I were with a woman.
It's crazy...I'm so messed up that a film it's enough to make me feel total rubbish. I went to see Milk last night. It was awesome, I love Gus Van Sant (and it wasn't even my favourite film, I'm so in love with Paranoid Park).
Anyway, I just started feeling real rubbish because I'm confused about myself...maybe I'm gay?
I mean, I kind kind of know that I am...but then, one thing is to say it, and another is to actually BE something. Which is why I feel so bad, because I always do that, when it comes to being I always withdraw...and I hate it. I hate myself.