Thursday, 23 December 2010

After 11:00

Around me everything is so silent and my soul is quiet. Thank you God for giving me this strength in my last moments.
I go by the window, my love: I look out and I still see, through the clouds, a few stars.
Eternity has both of us in its heart. I see the stars and think of you. Aren't you too around me? And didn't I, like a small child, take possession of each little thing you touched?
I left a message to you and your family asking to take care of my, I mean, my body. I want to be buried under those trees you know. You know which ones.
P., I am ready! I won't shake drinking from the cold, terrible cup of death. You gave it to me and I accept it. Everything! In this way I pay back the hopes I had in my life.
If I had been lucky enough to die for you! P., I'd give all myself for you! I'd die with courage, I'd die with joy, if I could give back peace and joy to your life.

I want to be buried with this clothes. You touched them, and they are sacred. My soul will float on the coffin. Nobody shall look in my pockets! That wristband you were wearing the first time I met you...

Give a kiss to your brothers and sisters, and tell them about me. I remember them all around me! I've been so close to you, haven't I? And I haven't been able to leave you since the first time I met you. That wristband, should be buried with me. You gave it to me for my birthday!
I wasn't thinking of all these things then.
I wasn't thinking that that path would have taken me to this.


Please, keep calm!

It's sharp enough, I think. It's almost midnight. And so it is, P.
My love, Goodbye. Goodbye.


  1. Dude, things don't have to be like this. Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. I know things look like they'll never get better at this point, but they can. You don't have to let life own you, try to stand up to your pain instead. Live for the idea that life can be more than this.

    If P. is making you hurt. If the idea of being around him but not with him is that bad, then stay away from him. It will be hard, but it will be the best thing for you. Look out for yourself.

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